after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
