Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
