Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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