I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
