I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
