I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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