i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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