Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
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Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
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Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
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