New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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