It's a beautiful day for a hangover
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
