mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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