Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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