Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
