I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
