soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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