is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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