I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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