can u get pink eye on your cock?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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