I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
