I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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