I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You are a genius and a whore.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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