saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Never underestimate the power of titties
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
