return my video game
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
