I don't think brook has ever known best
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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