I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize