Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
