She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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