seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
