wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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