Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
no. you can't hotbox the world.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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