Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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