Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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