So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
