I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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