i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
