Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
My pussy is not your playground.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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