OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
