haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
