Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize