white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize