how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
