chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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