I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
