I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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