i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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