he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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