so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
