you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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