doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I wish I could punch you in the face.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
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Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
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You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
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