speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
