I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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