eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize