where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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