Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
